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Tout d'abord bonne année à
Tout d'abord bonne année à toi aussi ! Je te souhaite plein de bonnes choses :D ! À part ça... Je trouve ce que tu dis intéressant. Ce que tu décris là c'est le processus normal des choses, la vie quoi. Tu dis que tu ressens plus cette passion, que tu ne sais plus si tu aimes ton copain, que tu ne sais plus si tu dois rester avec lui. Moi je veux te dire que tu ne restes pas toujours avec quelqu'un longtemps par amour mais par choix. Si tu demandes à des couples mariés depuis deeees années et que tu leur demandes si le mariage c'est purement de l'amour ou si c'est un choix, des engagements ils te répondront surement la deuxième option. Scientifiquement (je sais de quoi je parle hein!) l' humain n'est pas fait pour ressentir la "passion" des années durant. Ce qu'il faut après cette période de passion c'est se dire que tu ne quitteras pas cette personne, parce qu'au fond tu la respectes, tu l'aimes en vrai mais moins fort. L'amour se transforme en concession. C'est dur mais c'est comme ça. Tu auras le même problème une fois marié et là ? Est ce que tu divorceras? En vrai c'est souvent pour ça que les mariages arrangés marchent mieux que les mariages d'amour, ils ne se sont pas faits d'illusions depuis le départ. S'il a un jour représenté le monde pour toi, j'espère que tu auras le courage de rester avec lui jusqu'à que tu retrouves des étoiles dans ses yeux.
C'est un peu long mais lis ça
C'est un peu long mais lis ça! "A lot of people ask me what my biggest fear is, or what scares me most. And I know they expect an answer like heights, or closed spaces, or people dressed like animals, but how do I tell them that when I was 17 I took a class called Relationships For Life and I learned that most people fall out of love for the same reasons they fell in it. That their lover’s once endearing stubbornness has now become refusal to compromise and their one track mind is now immaturity and their bad habits that you once adored is now money down the drain. Their spontaneity becomes reckless and irresponsible and their feet up on your dash is no longer sexy, just another distraction in your busy life. Nothing saddens and scares me like the thought that I can become ugly to someone who once thought all the stars were in my eyes.
After my teacher introduced us to this theory, she asked us, “is love a feeling? Or is it a choice?” We were all a bunch of teenagers. Naturally we said it was a feeling. She said that if we clung to that belief, we’d never have a lasting relationship of any sort.
She made us interview a dozen adults who were or had been married and we asked them about their marriages and why it lasted or why it failed. At the end, I asked every single person if love was an emotion or a choice.
Everybody said that it was a choice. It was a conscious commitment. It was something you choose to make work every day with a person who has chosen the same thing. They all said that at one point in their marriage, the “feeling of love” had vanished or faded and they weren’t happy. They said feelings are always changing and you cannot build something that will last on such a shaky foundation.
The married ones said that when things were bad, they chose to open the communication, chose to identify what broke and how to fix it, and chose to recreate something worth falling in love with.
The divorced ones said they chose to walk away.
Ever since that class, since that project, I never looked at relationships the same way. I understood why arranged marriages were successful. I discovered the difference in feelings and commitments. I’ve never gone for the person who makes my heart flutter or my head spin. I’ve chosen the people who were committed to choosing me, dedicated to finding something to adore even on the ugliest days.
I no longer fear the day someone who swore I was their universe can no longer see the stars in my eyes as long as they still choose to look until they find them again."
au fait c'est tjs kyo! juste
au fait c'est tjs kyo! juste sous le pseudonyme feliz